


we're too old to play pretend

by orphan_account



Series: Phan Week 2015 [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Day Four, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phan Week, Phanfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-12
Updated: 2015-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-06 07:04:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5407481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>you don't have to fake what is already true</p><p>\\</p><p>i'm participating in (the first ever) phan week this year but my tumblr blog is a mess so i'm also posting these over here to keep track for future reference. to find out more about phan week, click <a href="http://phanweek.tumblr.com/">here</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we're too old to play pretend

**Author's Note:**

> so i wrote this for phan week and then i forgot i hadn't posted it. but here is a very late, very little snippet of dan and phil forgetting they're already a married couple (silly nerds thinking they need to fake it).

“I need you to date me real quick.”

Dan looked up from the drink in his hand to raise his eyebrows at Phil. “What the fuck?”

“C’mon, it’ll take like five minutes tops I swear.”

Dan had no idea how Phil even managed to get himself into these situations – perks of having more than one friend, he supposed – but, hey, wouldn’t hurt to do something with his night other than mope alone in the corner with a cup of god-knows-what because Phil had the social ability to talk to other people and Dan did not.

“Wait, can you just make out with me or something?” Phil said, glancing over his shoulder nervously. Dan thought this was probably the stupidest idea Phil had ever had, which was really saying something, and then he didn’t think anything because someone was kissing him and all he could see was one fuzzy blue eye in the space of Phil’s glabella. He closed his eyes after a few seconds because the merging of both sides of Phil’s face was making him feel a little dizzy (although that could have just been a little too much of the god-knows-what drink he’d been nursing all evening).

Dan hadn’t had many chances to kiss people in his life and, as far as he was aware, Phil was just as inexperienced (although Phil did seem to lead some kind of secret life at these parties he dragged Dan to and then disappeared into a crowd of people he supposedly already knew), but either way it apparently did the trick, because the yelling that had started to get uncomfortably closer had stopped and Phil looked considerably happier when they pulled apart. Dan tried to ignore the string of saliva that hung between their previously joined lips before falling against Dan’s chin. Phil snorted to cover a word that sounded suspiciously sarcastic and suspiciously like _romantic_ and wiped away the spit.

“So you weren’t lying?” The man who stood next to them (probably the cause of all that yelling) was unnecessarily buff and Dan would have felt more intimated than he ever had in his life except for the fact that Phil’s fingers were mysteriously walking themselves down Dan’s arm and into the spaces between his own fingers and, after fuzzing his brain all night with god-knows-what, he didn’t exactly have the capacity to consider anything else.

“This is my boyfriend, Dan.” Phil’s mysterious finger walking was clearly a planned event because it made it easier for Phil to tug Dan to his side as he spoke. It took Dan a few seconds (his brain was _really_ fuzzy, okay) to understand that Phil was not introducing Dan to his boyfriend, but that he was introducing Dan _as_ his boyfriend.

“Hi,” Dan said, making some weirdly awkward symbol with his hand.

The buff man looked rather stunned by the fact that Phil had an actual boyfriend (which technically he didn’t) and Dan found himself slightly offended on Phil’s behalf that it came as such a shock. (He dismissed that feeling pretty quickly because, again, Phil technically didn’t have a boyfriend.) Phil didn’t seem to want to waste time introducing the man to Dan and they left pretty quickly after that. Dan was only slightly disappointed that his cup of god-knows-what was still half full and still sitting on the table in the corner.

Phil never bothered explaining who the buff man was, but apparently he had some friends who now thought Dan and Phil were dating and apparently it was all of a sudden necessary for them to meet up every other day and apparently hand-holding was now supposed to be a normal thing. Dan kind of wished he minded more than he did.

Dan knew that he knew the names of the couple sitting across from them. He knew they were Phil’s friends and that he’d been introduced before and that they’d even been in the apartment once or twice. He also knew that he should probably remember their names, but Phil was trying to start an aggressive footsie war under the table and nothing else really mattered.

Dan trapped Phil’s foot under his as he answered a question about when they’d decided to move in together. Phil struggled to the point of red in the face while desperately trying to stutter his way through a story about the time Dan cracked a kitchen tile. Dan almost tipped off his chair as Phil wrenched his leg upwards, misjudging the distance and banging his knee loudly on the underside of the table. The salt and pepper shakers wobbled dangerously and Phil’s coffee sloshed into the saucer under the mug. They left the café in a chaos of giggles and confused stares, barely waiting to arrange their next double date with the other couple. It honestly wouldn’t come as much of a surprise to Dan if they never wanted to meet up again.

Back in his browsing position, Dan should have been happy. He was always happy to spend some quality time inside after going out for even the twenty seconds needed to take out the trash. But Phil spent so much time in Dan’s personal space when they were out that it was hard not to miss it when he was all the way in his room, leaving Dan to find his own warmth.

For this reason, Dan wasn’t as annoyed as he might have been when Phil interrupted his browsing. Dan even shut his laptop and moved it aside. It wasn’t really much of a conversation when neither of them spoke for a long time, but Dan was a little preoccupied with reminding his hands they had to stay in his own lap when no other people were around. He was halfway through an aggressive mental conversation, which involved an unnecessary amount of glaring at his hands and a whole lot of digging his nails into his palms, when Phil finally spoke.

“I don’t want to pretend any more.”

And maybe it had taken Dan a while and maybe he should have thought about this earlier but all of sudden, as the words left Phil’s lips, he realised maybe he never really was.


End file.
